Bullying Does Not Happen in a Vacuum

/34 Comments/in /by

Bullying behaviors do not happen in a vacuum. They come out of a context. The context can include the dynamics of the community in which they occur and they can come out of the context of the individual’s external or internal condition.

Some of the dynamics that can be included in the context of the community are the interpersonal relationships of the individuals and groups that make up the community, how the community deals with the behaviors of its members, the way that consequences of appropriate or inappropriate are meted out by the authorities in the community, the perception of the individuals that make up the community by other community members and the authorities in the Community, etc.

Some of the dynamics that come into play regarding the individuals that make up the community can include external factors such as home life, upbringing, accepted mores in the household, family relationships, etc. Dynamics that can also affect the behaviors of an individual can include internal factors such as illness, lack of sleep, having been hurt by another member of the community, etc.

In other words, bullying behaviors can be motivated by a number of factors at any given time. Unless the individuals that make up a community can be aware of, be made aware of or are taught how to become aware of that fact, then the chances of healing a relationship damaged by bullying behavior, having the bullying behavior curtailed and having the bullier become as congenial and productive member of the community, become reduced considerably.

Since social behavior is created and influenced holistically, the solution that will minimize or obliterate devaluing behavior needs to be addressed holistically as well. That concept of a holistic approach holds true for both the community and the individuals that make up the community. The community itself and its individuals need to be given methods by which they can create an order that can achieve building, maintaining or healing relationships that will make the community a benevolent body.

This can be accomplished by teaching the members of the community processes by which they can develop healthy relationships, see the value in each other and acknowledge the value in each other. These processes can include teaching communities members how to learn about one another, teaching the individual community members how to develop or find understanding, compassion and empathy and by using those three qualities to arrive at letting go of the need for revenge and bitterness towards the offender. In another word, “Forgiveness”.

Bullying behavior is holistically created. In can only be effectively vanquished by addressing its dynamics holistically .

Then a Hero Comes Along

/413 Comments/in /by

Respect means to recognize the value of someone or something. To demonstrate respectful behavior is to acknowledge that value. When a person places themselves in a position of risk for the benefit of another person, be it physical, psychological or emotional, programmatically, We R 3C™ would consider that person to be a hero.

When using the term “Hero” please realize that the person truly deserving of that title should be handily and duly recognized for their extraordinary willingness to put themselves at risk for the sake of another person.

We Act in Accordance With How Much We Value

/24 Comments/in /by

In a recent news article I read that a lifeguard left his post, against his employer’s policies, to rescue a swimmer drowning in an area outside of his assigned zone.  He was subsequently fired in accordance with the company’s policy.  He stated that he was aware of the policy and the possibility of getting fired but judged that saving the drowning person was more important to him than whether or not he would lose his job.  In other words, he determined that he valued the person’s safety and life above the value of his job and himself.

How much we value something is our motivation towards action.  We act upon how much or how little we value something and/or the relative value of one thing to another.  That’s why it’s so important that we hold ourselves accountable to take the necessary time and make the required efforts to find the positive value in others.  Once we can see the positive value of someone, then our actions will reflect that perception in the forms of understanding, compassion and empathy.

Finding the Meaning of Respect

/85 Comments/in /by

During my almost 30 years of visiting thousands of schools as a Teaching Artist and Curriculum Consultant/Developer, I realized the need for an effective way of teaching people how to show Respect.  The notion of people treating each other with kindness, has always been very important to me, so I simply decided to practice what I had both learned and professed and  moved towards developing curriculum materials on the topics of respect, kindness, compassion generosity, understanding, bullying and empathy.

As I conducted research with each of my visits, I realized there was a step to the entire learning process for achieving intrinsically motivated, respectful behaviors that was more fundamental than simply asking people to demonstrate random acts of respect toward one another. That rudimentary and foundational step was getting people to recognize or see the value in another person.  If the curriculum materials I was putting together could achieve getting people to see the value in one another, then therespectful behaviors within the foundational materials that I wanted to see demonstrated, would naturally occur within all of the communities people interact.

As individuals, we genuinely and sincerely demonstrate behaviors associated with respect to things and people that we value in each of the communities we interact.  That idea became the boat that was gently, passionately and lovingly pushed from the shoreline in search of the methods that would allow people to see the value in one another.  That concept has become the foundation of the program We R 3C™ and the nonprofit organization, We R 3C, Inc.